In the past several months, Matt was highlighted in four prominent publications, speaking on couples therapy for breaking up, healthy blended families, and navigating conversations with older parents as an adult child.
Speaking to The Atlantic for “The Case for a Long Divorce,” Matt shared his experience as a couples therapist witnessing the increase of couples seeking therapy together for breaking up, or to use Gwyneth Paltrow’s phrase, “conscious uncoupling.” While initially surprised, he described this couples work as “touching” as partners consider: “This is a relationship that a lot of thought and care has been put into creating; I think it warrants a lot of thought and care in its ending.” It should be noted that not all relationships have the conditions to end so amicably and most importantly, safely. Matt observed, “When the conditions aren’t there for both people to do that thoughtfully, with a kind of baseline level of stability and compassion, then it’s not a good idea.”
In Newsweek’s “Can You Be Friends with Your Ex’s Partner? Experts Say It Is Possible,” Matt explored the possibility of happy and connected blended families. Asserting that more loving relationships are always for the best, particularly for children who have experienced the breakup of a family, he said, “If blended families can do that, inclusive of everyone in them, all the better.” He also cautioned to make sure these blended family relationships are grounded in reality without overlooking children’s grief about a family breakup. “…even with the positive, unlikely relationships that have been built, there’s still grief for the children in their family not being intact in the way it once was,” Matt emphasized.
For “How to Give Your Parents Advice That They Will Actually Listen To” in The Wall Street Journal, Matt described how big conversations between older parents and adult children can be complicated given the preexisting parent-child relationship. He offered strategies for these discussions, including maintaining patience, not hesitating to wait and bring up the issue at a later date, and remaining aware of anxiety and other emotions that might get in the way. In particular, Matt recommended doing some reality testing with a friend before talking to a parent. Historical emotions about the relationship can often overpower a successful conversation and sometimes, it’s better to, instead, seek family therapy for adult families.
Matt further explored tough discussions with older parents on WESA, Pittsburgh’s NPR news station. In “The Cost of Forgetting: Dementia’s Tax on Financial Health,” he specifically addressed how to navigate when a parent can no longer manage their own finances due to dementia or other cognitive difficulties. Explaining how turning over control of finances can be especially difficult, Matt noted, “Money can represent stability, control, power, autonomy, and safety.” He encouraged preparing the parent for a coming conversation about money issues so they won’t feel blindsided.