Matt Speaks to WNYC, Newsweek, Women’s Health, and More of What Matt’s Writing
By : Matt Lundquist -
In the past few months, Matt appeared on WNYC, as well as in several publications speaking on issues related to couples and relationship therapy and family therapy.
Perhaps most urgently, Matt returned to WNYC’s All Of It With Alison Stewart in the immediate wake of the school shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas to take calls from listeners who were once again processing grief, unsafety, fear, sadness, anger, and powerlessness after another mass shooting. In particular, he spoke to parents who wanted to find ways to discuss the shooting with their children, provide them with emotional guidance, and assure them of their safety in school, even while the parents were struggling. Matt emphasized that parents should, in addition to talking with their children, take some space to grieve, as well as find activities that allow for some localized stability to help with the immediate disruption.
Following his on-air conversation, he published a post on Tribeca Therapy’s blog that expanded on his conversation about the Uvalde shooting in order to address the truism that often circulates on social media after mass shootings: “The problem is that we’ve all become numb to gun violence.” In his post, Matt argued that numbness isn’t the disorder, but the symptom. And the response to this disorder must be a political one.
In online publications, Matt most recently answered a reader’s question in Newsweek in which the reader’s father didn’t acknowledge their relationship to his much younger children. In “My Father Had Children 30 Years Younger Than Me—What Should I Do?” Matt explained parents’ continued obligation to their children, including their adult children, and articulated the father’s lack of responsibility in this regard was more in the service of his own feelings than his children’s. He also offered the reader counsel about how to talk to her father directly.
Matt was also featured in several articles on dating and relationships. In Women’s Health’s “Here’s What It Means to DTR, According to a Clinical Psychologist,” he explored how defining a relationship can be essential to both partners getting on the same page. He encouraged couples to think beyond rigid conversations about status or rules around monogamy. Instead, couples should check in with their partner often as a way to maintain a fun and healthy relationship since transparency and clarity can be key to lessening anxiety in the long term.
Conversely, Matt commented on unhealthy relationship dynamics for Bustle’s “How to Respond to a Partner Who’s ‘Stonewalling’ You.” He defined stonewalling as “a full-on refusal to engage in a difficult conversation, a dispute, or in response to someone expressing a hurt or a need.” Making the distinction between simply disengaging during an argument and stonewalling, Matt observed that stonewalling can have a serious impact on a relationship. He suggested that a partner being stonewalled should let their partner know they won’t tolerate it and work to find a new way to have tough conversations.
Finally, Matt drew on his expertise in providing financial family therapy for “I Grew Up Living Paycheck to Paycheck: Here’s What It Taught Me About Finance” in Go Banking Rates. He revealed how childhood financial insecurity can impact an adult’s approach to money, whether being excessively vigilant, not cautious enough, or a combination of both—a hodgepodge of avarice and deprivation. Though not often considered by financial experts, Matt also pointed out how growing up financially insecure can lead to the development of emotional skills that those raised in relative privilege may not have to build.